Chrysalis Staff Gratitude

Some thoughts of gratitude from our wonderful staff:

I'm grateful to have the privilege and opportunity to work with amazing girls and their families in reconnecting.  It is truly an honor to be part of each girl's journey.  I also feel incredibly blessed to work with such dedicated, kind, and caring people.   

~Natasha, Therapist

First and foremost I am am grateful for my faith and the joy that fills my life because of it.  I am grateful for my parents for guiding my faith, for the love they have showered over me and for the strength the have placed in my heart.  As I aged, met the man of my dreams and started a family, I could not feel more blessed.  The deep love and simple joy that radiates through our home brings a smile to my face with each passing day.  I do my best to share my joy, especially with the girls I work with.  I am grateful for my parents teaching me to be compassionate, for that too is passed on to the beautiful girls I am trying to help. I just wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't mention how grateful I am for the mountains and for ski season being just around the corner.  Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

~ Julie, Adventure Supervisor

I am grateful for snowfall, for fashionable AND functional scarves, and hot baths. I am grateful for Cake Batter flavored ChapStick and dark chocolate with sea salt in it. I am grateful for living in a place that is so remote I can look up at the sky on a clear night and see innumerable stars right from my front porch. I am grateful for having food in my pantry that doubles as a gathering place for friends and family. I am grateful that my grandparents, Gert and Ernie, will likely be around for one more holiday season. I am grateful for the Chrysalis environment, both my fellow staff and students, which comprise much more than a workplace. It is an extended family I can learn from, lean on, and laugh with; who make sure everyone has a place not just for the holidays, but every day; who share the primo huckleberry patches and fishing holes; who laugh and smile (and tease relentlessly) like family; who care just as much for our girls as I do; who are only here because their families entrust us with their daughters -- without them, Chrysalis couldn't be such a loving place.

~Krysten, English Teacher

I am thankful for family and friends, both near and far. I am frequently reminded that people are what matter most, and I feel grateful for the wonderful people in my life. I am particularly thankful for my husband who has had so much patience, grace, and has offered support as I frequently travel for work. I am thankful for our home and land in which we have created a small backyard farm. I am grateful for the simplicity of fresh eggs and veggies, and the many meals shared this year. I love living in northwest Montana and I feel blessed to call it home. While I enjoy traveling for work and collaborating with many fantastic professionals, the more I travel the more I enjoy living in Montana. I am thankful for a job I believe in, and many co-workers who are my dear friends. 

~Carrie, Admissions Director

I am grateful for being able to join a team of people who are willing to work in collaboration for the greater good of young women and their families. I am grateful for the beauty of NW Montana that speaks to my heart and soul everyday without words. 

~ Becca, Therapist

Gratitude is essential for the soul. Without it, I wither and shrink from the joys of life. I'm immensely grateful for the blessing of harvesting a deer for my freezer. I'm thankful for my children, their spouses, and for my grandson's bright eyed smiles. My 14 year old daughter's journey from little girl to young lady delights my heart. I'm grateful for being witness to maturing young women and their process of moving forward in a positive manner. I'm thankful for a husband that is always there to encourage and fill up the empty spaces of my being. I'm thankful for a God filled with love and grace for me.

~Darla, Academic Director

This Thanksgiving season has provided us with very crisp temperatures accompanied by azure blue skies and sparkling, dramatic snow covered peaks.  How fortunate I feel to be nestled in our beautiful valley, inspired by our glorious scenery.  After thirty five short years, Montana and her grandeur still takes my breathe away.  I feel blessed to be able to work with an amazing team of professionals who are dedicated to our students and their families.  I celebrate the courage that it takes to fully engage in the healing process, and I am surrounded by girls who are finding their voice, mending their hearts, exercising their talents, honoring their values, embracing their families and building sturdy character.  I delight in the addition of our new border/bearded collie Charlie, his antics, the smiles he prompts, and the silliness he adds to our lives.  I treasure my family, and my husband and our co-founder.  I value our supportive, brilliant partners at InnerChange.  Life is good! 

~Mary, Clinical Director and Co-Founder

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Gratitude is never more difficult to find and express than when it comes on the heels of a difficult period in one's life. That is, however, undoubtedly when the expression of gratitude is the single most important response we can have, and the most important thing we can practice, day in and day out. That's when counting one's blessings and giving thanks for all that is good about our lives is most healing. It separates us from our burdens and allows us to look forward to the promise of a new day. And that glimpse of something brighter in the distance can make all the difference. 

This has been a tough year for many of us, professionally, personally, socially, financially, and perhaps in other dimensions as well. It's been difficult at times to arrive at laughter and lightness of being. And yet, when challenged to search our souls for encouragement, or reasons to be hopeful, we inevitably find them if we but try. I've often heard this described as a treasure chest sitting right in front of us, full of all manner of delights, just waiting for us to use the key in our hand to unlock the chest, open the lid, and discover the bounty of blessings within. This veritable "horn of plenty" may have been sitting there for years, waiting patiently for us to claim it.. At times this process requires some perseverance, some faith, and some action on our part. Fortunately, these are all characteristics that are available to us. We can possess them and utilize them when the going gets tough. And, thankfully, It turns out there are guides and mentors all around us, ready and willing to take our hand and lead the way when it feels necessary. Then, when we do our part, fulfilling our role in this equation, we begin to remember all that is good about the world around us, and all that is beautiful about our life within that world. 

In that spirit, I am grateful this year for countless blessings that are known to me, but can go unnamed in this more public expression. I'm also grateful for those blessings that I haven't stumbled across yet, but which are inevitably in my path. I'm grateful for those spiritual qualities of which I wrote that sometimes define us, such as perseverance, faith, and the capacity for positive action. I'm grateful for the guides and mentors in my life, both past and present, who have steered me carefully and collectively toward this lovely moment in time. I'm grateful that I can occasionally be a blessing to someone else along the way. I'm grateful for this beautiful place that we get to call home, and for the beauty of the people with whom we live and work. I'm especially grateful for hope, which we should never take for granted. And mostly, I'm grateful for God's good grace, always much needed, and for HIs willingness to weave all of this together for us, perfectly, 

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you at Chrysalis.

~Kenny, Executive Director and Co-Founder

Students Talk with Author Daniel Quinn

Last week, some of our students had the wonderful opportunity to have a phone call with Daniel Quinn, author of Ishmael, My Ishmael, The Story of B, Providence, and various other novels. Our sophomores have just finished reading Ishmael and are working on their final papers for the unit, and all of our students have just begun writing novels for our participation in National Novel Writing Month (we'll have updates on that later this month!). The opportunity to speak with Mr. Quinn was phenomenal; Ishmael has been in print continuously since its publication in 1991 and has been translated into over 20 languages. It's been used in courses ranging from History to Anthropology to Philosophy to English (and everything in between) and he's been invited to speak at various universities across the country. 

Our girls asked him questions on everything they could think of regarding Ishmael and what it takes to be a writer, and we learned that he doesn't believe in writers block. If you have something to say, the words will come. Of course, they may need to be heavily revised and edited, but when a writer has something to say, writing is the natural outlet. We also learned that if he could redo Ishmael, he would clarify the gender of the narrator as it's been a point of uncertainty for some readers. Many of his novels took twelve years to be ready for publication, and he's working on another right now. 

I'm most proud to say that he was very impressed with our students. During the process of setting up the interview, he mentioned that Ishmael was not intended for readers as young as our students. When our interview concluded, he stated that this was one of his most difficult interviews ever as our students asked very challenging questions and made him think. I walked out of the room on clouds, and am so very excited to share how well our girls performed with this prestigious writer! 

11 Signs Your Daughter May Need A Therapeutic Boarding School

Sending your daughter away to a therapeutic boarding school is never in a family’s plan. It can be hard and overwhelming when your daughter doesn’t thrive at home and may need extra help and support. It’s hard to know when your daughter needs more help than you can provide. Here are some common signs that we’ve found in girls needing a Therapeutic Boarding School.   

1. Isolating From Peers: Does your daughter isolate more than normal? Does she hide in her room avoiding her life? Isolating can be defined as socially withdrawing from friends and family and wanting to be alone more than usual.
2. Codependency/Unhealthy Relationships: If your daughter is changing her core identity in order to “fit in” with a certain group or person, that is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Needing constant approval or attention from others is another sign. If your daughter feels like she “needs” another person and even goes to extreme measures to reel them in, it may be a codependent relationship.
3. Difficulties with School:
• School Refusal: Sleeping in late, frequently late, unexplainably sick
• Not meeting full potential in school: Grades are dropping, No motivation
4. Difficulty in Parent or Sibling Relationships
• Arguing
• Avoiding or Isolating
• Lying and  Stealing
• Physical aggression
5. Overuse of Technology or Social Media: Wanting to be on Facebook or other social media sites more than participating in real life events with others is a red flag as is using television, the internet, or video games to distract from school or other activities.
6. Victim of Bullying or Another Traumatic Event: If your daughter has been a victim of bullying or assault, it can have devastating effects and can lead to depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
7. Sexual Promiscuity: Does your daughter act out sexually or has she had multiple sexual partners? Has she been caught “sexting” or looking at pornography?
8. Substance Abuse: Is your daughter numbing herself by using alcohol or drugs? Giving into peer pressure and hanging with the wrong crowd can be a red flag for substance abuse.
9. Suicidal Thoughts or Self-Harm: Does your daughter have suicidal thoughts? Has she cut or burned herself in the past? 
10. Non-responsive to outpatient therapy: Is attending therapy once a week or more not doing enough? Often times when teenagers don’t respond to outpatient treatment sources, you need to reevaluate their situation. Your daughter may need further care.
11. Recommendations from Mental Health Professionals: Often your daughter’s therapist or school counselor will recognize that she needs more help than they can provide. They may recommend a Therapeutic Boarding School or a Residential Treatment Center. Even though you won’t want to send your daughter away, you should take into consideration the opinion of a professional. 

3 Steps you Can Take:

1. For support, tell a close friend or family member what you are going through. It’s tough and you shouldn't go through this alone.
2. Find an expert in the field such as a counselor or educational consultant who can point you in the right direction. There are thousands of options for treatment. Sometimes it helps to have someone tell you what these options are.
3. Give us a call at 888-317-9297 for more information on how we can help you get your daughter back. 

Backpacking trip in Waterton Lakes National Park

There are many reasons why we are so fortunate that Chrysalis is in Northwest Montana. One of those reasons happens to be how close we are to such expansive, wild, and dramatic scenery that surrounds us in all directions.  We decided to take advantage of our proximity to Canada and head to Waterton Lakes National Park for a backpack trip. I like to describe Waterton as the extension of Glacier National Park in Canada.  It mirrors the eastern and western boundaries of glacier and adds another 185 square miles of protected land to the "crown of the continent".

With a short window of only  three days, we wanted the girls to see some of the most magnificent views the park had to offer so we took a trip into Akimina pass on the southwestern end of the park with intent to summit Akimina ridgeline and see views into Glacier and Waterton alike. 

After several hours of measuring oatmeal, scooping craisins, and counting granola bars, we put food, tents, sleeping bags and cooking gear into our backpacks and headed north across the border.  On our way to the trailhead we passed the famous Prince of Wales Hotel.  We were inspired by the dramatic views surrounding the hotel.  We re-arranged our packs making sure they were stable and we tightened down all the straps, ready to hike the few miles into our campsite. 

We spent the evening setting up tents, huckleberry picking, and enjoying our new home for the next two nights.  The next morning we woke early around 5:30 am to start breakfast, pack up, and get ready for a big day.  We set off on the trail into Forum Lake and headed up the Akimina Ridgeline gaining elevation quickly.  The girls were such a great team supporting and encouraging each other to ascend the steep ridgeline.  After many false summits we found our selves in a cloud with little to no view of the surrounding mountains.  Many of us were disappointed while simultaneously being satisfied by the fortunate chance to be walking within a cloud.  As our view shrank to the few feet in front of us we found ourselves reflecting inwards and finding solace there.  Once the cloud cleared on the other side of the ridgeline, some absolutely outstanding views of the park greeted us.  It was well worth the suspense to experience such a beautiful site.  The energy of the group instantly sparked into a chorus of oohs and aahs.  We then descended into the Wall Lake drainage to find three mountain goats grazing above the lake and more huckleberries on the way down.  Nine miles later, we arrived to make dinner at camp after a successful day!  Early the next morning, we packed up camp and set out down the trail to arrive at the Prince of Wales Hotel where we enjoyed our lunch on the lawn with beautiful views of the lake and valley.

It was a short, but beautiful trip.  The girls put in great effort and reaped great reward.  I am so thankful to be a part of these life changing journeys.

~Ashton, Adventure Staff

2014 Mother-Daughter Retreat

This year's mother-daughter retreat recently concluded its 2014 stint under the high beams of the Cockerall Center at Flathead Camp. Unseasonable temperatures, dramatic clouds and rain provided a unique experience this year as we anxiously awaited for the skies to part and the sun to appear so that we could be pulled around on the speed boat, canoe around the bay, and have our moms teach us how to do back flips off the diving board. Even though there was a bit of wet weather, participants of this year's mother-daughter retreat had an overall wonderful experiencing reconnecting with their daughters and mothers, respectively. 

Our therapeutic focus surrounded the bond that exists between a mother and her daughter. We celebrated feminine energy and set intentions for the retreat in our opening flower ceremony on Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday events and groups focused on reorienting relationships toward healing and re-connection, while also having a bit of fun with some art projects, spa activities, adventure activities, and a talent show of moms, daughters and staff. With the fire roaring in the main lodge on Friday morning, we spent a lengthy, large group circle reflecting on all that was experienced and accomplished throughout the retreat, by highlighting our "favorite frames" and offering gratitude to and for the ones we love, the privileges we are granted, and the ability to be in relationship with each other. We are celebrating yet another extraordinary, healing, rich Chrysalis family event and send our deep thanks to all who helped to make it happen. Can't wait for next year!

Love, light and gratitude.

Chrysalis Academics: Above the State AND National Average!

Kudos to the 2014 High School Graduates of Chrysalis!  They are ready for college success. The ACT College Readiness letter has arrived in our school office.  The results are shown on the graph below.  100% of our students who took the ACT met or exceeded the benchmark score of 18 on The ACT English Test.  The average for Chrysalis students was a whopping 23...a full 5 points above the benchmark. Also shown on the graph, our students outscored the average Montana student who took the test by 40 percentage points. College Social Science scores as measured by the ACT Reading test also exceeded the benchmark. We couldn't be happier. 

Chrysalis students are out performing other Montana students in 3 of 4 areas measured, and even out score them with the number of students who reach all four benchmarks. Meeting a benchmark score means that a student from Chrysalis heading to her first year of college will be 50% more likely to get a B or higher in that college course.   

Chrysalis girls are succeeding academically, and we are happy to share the news with you. What a great time to be a Chrysalis student and have the privilege of experiencing its supportive and challenging academic environment.  We are proud of what our girls have accomplished, and look eagerly forward to the new school year. Continued success stories are on the horizon as we strive to regularly make improvements in our academic program. 

Kootenay River Trip 2014

After a full day of preparing and packing for the second Adventure Trip of the summer we were all ready to hit the road and head north.  We drove three and a half hours into British Columbia to arrive just an hour south of Banff National Park, in the Kootenay National Park.  We spent our first night on the banks of the river anticipating the next four days of freedom on the water.  

We put in at Mcleod Meadows on a perfect bluebird day reaching temperature upward of 90 degrees.  Needless to say, once the two oar frame rafts, single paddle raft, and two inflatable kayaks were rigged and we embarked on our marine journey, water wars abound!  Thanks to Natasha, one of our therapists, who brought several water guns for our drenching delight. 

Three nights and four days on the water later we have endless stories of instructors falling into the glacial water, girls working hard paddling "all forward", and each and every one of us getting way too much sun!  However, I am happy to boast that we had zero sunburns and did a great job to keep all group members hydrated and happy.  

Many girls' favorite moments included watching Tom, another therapist, take a plunge into the very cold Kootenay waters; they thoroughly enjoyed his surprised reaction.  Another favorite moment was arriving at the most beautiful oasis of a campsite on our last night on the river - filled with beautiful sandy beaches, cedar trees and a gorgeous limestone cliff face opposite our site on the river.  We were all in awe and very thankful for the inspiring beauty around us.  I speak for the group when I say that we all experienced a great deal of light hearted happiness, filled with good humor and a healthy dose of humility in our circles and conversations.  I could not be more delighted to have been a part of this great adventure!

~Ashton, Adventure Staff